Faith Over Fear

When I was little, I was afraid of the dark. Scared of what lurked within the shadows; scared of the unaccounted-for space beneath the bed; scared of the valley separating my room from my parents’ room; just scared. There are a lot of things about my mom which I don’t remember, but one thing I do is the bible verse she gave me to think on when these fears would arise:

2 Timothy 1:7 – For the Lord has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

I think on that verse a lot. I very much needed that verse when I was little, and I need it even more in my journey through adulthood. There are times when I get weary from the fears which seem to be constant points of contention. My mom passed from Leukemia when I was eight, and as a man of thirty a cloud of dread has followed me for some years now—if it happened to her, who’s to say I’m safe? Yesterday was a productive day in terms of writing; I put together a blog post affording me the chance to talk about one of my favorite books, and I finished a chapter of the first real novel I’ve undertaken to write! Those are good things. I also spent several hours fixating on heartburn from coffee, wondering if I was safe and frequently checking my pulse. That wasn’t a good thing.

Above all else, I want to say God is good. I went my own way for many years and ran this train of mine off of the rails. It was the overcoming of fear which brought me back to my faith. I had developed a fear of choking and reached a point where I was afraid to eat anything resembling a solid food. Fear begets fear, and I in turn was scared of what all of that meant—what would happen to me. At that time, I didn’t see Jesus hardly one iota. I needed to turn to something which could actually help me, and I didn’t think He could. My dad is a strong man of faith, much stronger than I ever have been. He saw me through all the ugly years and prayed me through those trials and tribulations. He encouraged me to get re-baptized, and to trust God with that mountain of fear I couldn’t scale on my own. And so, I tried. I had less than a mustard seed of faith it would help, but I tried. And He showed up for me.

Not everybody believes what I believe. I totally get that. We’re all different and no two stories are the same. I just wanted to talk about fears I’ve overcome and say that even as new fears spring up to hound my steps, I have a hope I never had before. I can eat sandwiches again. I chew very thoroughly, but I get through that sandwich and enjoy the heck out of it to boot. I hope anybody reading this has a beautiful day, and a blessed day. Where there’s fear, there’s even greater hope. And that’s all I’ll say about that 🙂

Still Now, Child

Still now, child, as you rest
Within your Father's arms:

Still yourself and know He won't
Let you come into harm.

Something in the morning quiet
Says you'll be alright:

Someone whispers, “Still now, child,
Put away your fright.”

Somewhere up in Heaven there are
Gentle piano keys

Playing notes which seem to tell
The dark, “Be bound then flee.”

And still now, little child;
Nest up in your Daddy's wings,

Warmed by His enclosing feathers,
Covered while He sings:

“I love you, sparrow dearest,
I'll not let them do you harm,

“I love you, little child,
Stay here right within My arms.”

Listen to those words of love
And listen to His song

Which tells you you’re exactly where
Your child's heart belongs.